The Campus Crying Guide

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The Campus Crying Guide

Photo by Whitney Ethridge

Photo by Whitney Ethridge

Photo by Whitney Ethridge

Nic McIntyre, Staff Reporter

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Rough day? Did your boyfriend just break up with you over a text in the middle of a physics test and next period you know there’s a pop quiz that you didn’t study for. No, just me? Well, what I’m trying to say is that life sucks and somedays you just need to let it all out. That’s why I’m here to help. Now, I am not here to offer you a shoulder to cry on, in fact I’m about to direct you to some cold, dark, dank place that you’ll be left alone far from the eyes of others. That’s right young firefighters, get those waterworks ready because here are some of the best places to sneak off to and ball your eyes out.

The first place that I would recommend is the band hall. Yeah, I know that if you’re not in band then you’re probably not familiar with it. However, the band hall has numerous smaller rooms that are rarely looked into. It would be easy for a person to slip into one unnoticed, giving them all the time they need to cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.

Next up on the best places to sweat out of the eyes is under the bleachers in the arena. The bleachers offer long, expansive spans of dark space that are just beckoning for a willing soul to come and spread their bodily fluids under them. One of the negatives is that it’s pretty dirty under there so you might have to dust yourself off after all that ‘sweating’.

Last, but not least, a great place to release fluids from the retina is dressing rooms for theater. The dressing rooms aren’t used very often which make them an ideal location to cry yourself out. If you’re adventurous, you can go cry on the stage for an invisible crowd. Who knows, it might make you feel like you’re actually worth something.

I know there are tons of other places to go cry, and I couldn’t possibly cover them all, but these were those that I felt deserved a special mention (not that I’m speaking from experience or anything). So get creative and scope out that special place to drown yourself in your tears.

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