The Bewildering Mess That Is Life

Photo from

Photo from

Caitlin Gorbett, Staff Writer

When people ask me what I want to do with my life, my immediate response is a shrug. I have always been generally confused by everything concerning the future, but a career is probably the one shrouded in the most uncertainty.


Everyone around me seems to know what they want to do with their lives and who they want to be. I don’t even know what I want to eat for dinner until I’m already eating dinner and it’s not what I wanted. Everyone seems so sure of what they want out of life.


I have wanted to have every career under the sun. Teacher, writer, doctor, scientist, chef, etc. Nothing has ever stuck. I feel an overwhelming pressure every day to figure it all out, but I really don’t think I’m ever going to. My friends all know what colleges they want to go to and where they want to live — here, mostly — but all I know is that I don’t want to stay in one place. I don’t even know if I want to go to college.


I have never been a confident person, and the sense impending doom from not deciding on my future definitely doesn’t help. All of the Health Science kids walking around in their scrubs makes me feel so small and dumb in comparison.


People say we have our whole lives to decide what we want to be, but that isn’t the case. The necessity of having it all planned out has loomed over our heads since we were 10 years old. There’s no reason for us to be having that pressure put on us at such a young age, but that’s just how it goes now. The reason, I have no idea. All I really know is that I don’t want to have to be confused by and scared of the future anymore.